Today is just another Sunday for most, but for my brother's family it is a day of grief. It has been four months since their grandson lost his life, he left behind many grieving for him. Some people tell them that it will get better with time, but at this point for them it seems as if it is getting worst. This is what happens when you lose a child, you never think it will happen, but when it does your world changes forever.
Time helps you get use to feeling the pain, but it takes a long time to even get to that point. People don't understand that this type of lost isn't one that gets better quickly. You grieve long and hard, even after ten years I am still grieving, I will continue until my last breath. But as I do look back, I am better now, this is something I was told would happen by a parent who had lost a child. When I was told this, I thought to myself, "maybe for you, but not for me", because I was in such deep despair I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. But time does help heal some of that raw, deep cutting pain, I know that now.
I guess everyone has their own time line for grief. I just know that for me it has been a long road that will never end. It has taken me many years to get better, but it has happened, something at one point I thought was impossible. I think of Brandon everyday, miss him, wish he was here, but now I am able to look upon my future with some brightness, that is a good feeling. My daughter, Brittni, has and always will be my light that I see at the end of the tunnel. I am looking forward to watching that light brighten as the years go on. I am fortunate to have her and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to watch her as she establishes herself in this world.
I pray for my brother's family, because I know that this is such a hard time. My hearts breaks for all of them, because I know what they have ahead to endure. I hope that they will see their light at the end of the tunnel, even if it takes what seems like forever.
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